Monday, June 11, 2007

Heading for Madness - Part 1: Paranoia

How fast can you suck up new knowledge? How fast can you wrap your head around new technology? Where is your limit before your head explodes? How many choices can you handle?

When we started a new project 3 years ago, there was just plain WinForms. We started working and built up our UI-infrastructure/framework while trying to focus on the business-problems.

PromQueen1All the time I kept watching the technological front. I wanted to stay up to date, I wanted to put a foot into every bandwagon. But the parties on all those bandwagons made my head spin. On every party I met a new prom-queen, they were all extraordinary girls with exquisite names:

Every one of those new acquaintances assured me that her predecessor was quite a beauty, but nothing compared to herself. Every time I was falling in love and every time I was convinced, that this time its going work out fine between us. And I believed it with my whole heart … until the next party. It was always the same. I had learned all her methods by heart, I dreamed of her fine variables, I fancied her excellent features. I was prepared, I had pictured all her configurations, I had imagined all about her plugin-options, I really could not wait to get my hands onto her… and she didn't show up!

Each time my heart was broken and I was devastated. Fortunately my disappointment had not to last for long, since there was always the new prom-queen waiting for me. And always she was even more attractive and her promises were even more exciting!

PromQueen2But after some time I had enough. All this emotional involvement, and all for nothing. I took a break and reflected my situation. I came to the conclusion that I had to change my social environment: All those glamorous superficial UI-Girls, they are just not my type. It would never have worked out anyways…

So I started looking for another scene that would suit me better. I soon felt attracted to the simple and hard-laboring people of the data-layer. They were honest and welcomed me with open arms. And the girls were really nice, a bit naive but without any binding. They cared more for inner values and were far less focussed on their appearance than the UI-Girls.

So I drew new hope, and finally found the courage to go out with some special Data-Girls:

But it was the same all over again: Always on the second date a new girl showed up, one that seemed to be cleverer and more eloquent and have quicker wits than the one before. I got more and more confused to a point where I was completely paralyzed and could not decide which girl I liked most!

ParanoiaHonestly, can anybody be expected to keep up with this? How fast can people fall in love? How is it possible to build up a sustainable relationship, if the average lifespan is less than a year?

Is this some kind of evil conspiracy against me? Some emotional stress test? What will be the result? Survival of the fittest? Decision-inability due to choice–overload? Analysis Paralysis? Misantrophy?

I think I can never again speak to a girl without looking over my shoulder, looking for the arrival of the next, even more attractive girl. How did I deserve this? All I wanted, was staying up to date!

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